Unpleasantly Thick

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Hey, you!

Are you a white, educated, middle-class liberal? Are you a scrupulous observer of modern ethics? Do you pride yourself on your extensive catalogue of progressive social anxieties?

Doesn't it get wearing? Aren't you tired of tip-toeing around, trying not to offend anyone? Don't you wish you too could indulge your natural distrust of anyone different to you, without remorse or fear of recrimination?

Then Islamophobia is for you!

Testimonial
I've always enjoyed talking shit about people who didn't necessarily deserve it, making myself seem too cool and clever to subscribe to liberal dogma, without actually breaking any specific rules. But until recently I had to direct my poison at individuals. With Islamophobia, I can be openly racist on prime time television. Hey! I'm not being racist - I'm being antitheist!
C. Hitchens, Washington DC

Finally! A new prejudice for a new generation. Imagine: holding forth in the office, appearing on the radio, writing columns for left-leaning broadsheets, spitting filthy brown gobs of hatred at an entire race... and no inconvenient pangs of liberal guilt!

Testimonial
As a high-ranking member of a well-known government, I've had to watch what I say at all times. Then I discovered Islamophobia. When I humiliated a Muslim woman of my own constituency, I was not reprimanded, but instead credited with sparking a national debate! Even with the blood of hundreds of thousands of Muslim civilians on my hands, I still get to keep my job! I would recommend Islamophobia to anyone! Except bastard Muslims, that is!
J. Straw, Minster Lovell

It's been proven: Islam is bad. It isn't compatible with western values. It's evil and must be stopped. Look...

Kill all women and gays and Christians and Jews and and any other type of infidel which hasn't been invented yet. Drive cars loaded with explosives into their shopping centres and hotels.
The Koran, p.36

It would be wrong not to hate Islam and all its practitioners.

With Islamophobia, you can be:

• Bigoted!


• Intolerant!


• Prejudiced!


• Racist!


• An utter fucking cunt!

All this and still retain the respect of your disgusting hypocrite peers!

Testimonial
Racial intolerance is generally frowned upon in modern literary circles. But thanks to Islamophobia, I can ignorantly associate 1.5bn ordinary people with the actions of a handful of rabid extremists, rather like a muttering, shaven-headed fellow sitting alone in the corner of a downmarket hostelry... and continue to be taken seriously!
M. Amis, London

That's Islamophobia - the bigotry you can enjoy without ruining your liberal credibility!