He Sleeps Upside-Down

It's the
Happygood Funtime Hour
with...
Spokesman for Binyamin Netanyahu
Mark Regev!!!

Imagine.

You are fast asleep, in the middle of the night, as an IDF commando sleeps, hanging from a helicopter over international waters.

Now imagine that your peace has been shattered by an attack from a flotilla of civilian boats. They sail underneath you and your commando friends, so that you are caught on the boats' decks like spiders from their threads in the palms of giant, steel, boat-shaped hands.

The civilians set about you with metal bars and wooden sticks. You and your friends have nothing with which to defend yourselves, nothing but non-lethal grenades. Non-lethal grenades and stun guns. And proper guns too. You have proper guns, ones that fire live rounds, live rounds that tear through flesh and bone. You have them. But apart from these - nothing!

You would be terrified, would you not? You would all fear for your lives, and would start using your superior weapons in sheer panic.

This is what our highly trained, combat-ready commandos were forced to do when they found themselves in such a situation during the early hours of Monday morning.

Fortunately, they managed to repel the attack. But it is only a matter of time before another marauding band of humanitarian workers attempts to smash through our peaceful - possibly even almost legal - blockade of Gaza in order to feed people. And not innocent people, oh no. People who live in a country with terrorists in it!

Israel desperately needs your help. If you can pledge just $5m a month, we'll have the means to fight this civilian menace.

Please call 0800-123-GODWIN now. Please.

Here is a picture of a wet puppy.